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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211181">Xanckthedo's Honor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/minamoxie/pseuds/minamoxie'>minamoxie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:48:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/minamoxie/pseuds/minamoxie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>None of it would've happened if he'd been on time...</p><p>A chance meeting propels Matt into an intergalactic war. He might not understand everything going on, but he knows if Earth is threatened, he has to do what he can to help. It has nothing at all to do with how insanely hot alien Xan is.</p><p>Stranded on Earth years ago, Xan has never stopped thinking--or feeling guilty about his part in--the war for the soul of his people. Now he finally has a chance to make things right, but will it cost him the human he's come to care for?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>None of it would’ve happened if he had been on time.</p><p>But Matt was running late for an appointment, so he cut through the park, keeping to the less crowded paths with the quick, sure step of someone who knew them backwards and sideways.</p><p>He would’ve noticed the man even if he hadn’t been pelting through the park way too fast for someone dressed like he was. Not that Matt <em>stared</em> or anything; little green men from Mars could’ve landed on Houston and started doing the can-can, and he would’ve just rolled his eyes and muttered about tourists.</p><p>Still, someone insanely gorgeous doing a full-on sprint in office uncasual did warrant a raised eyebrow. The man stole a glance back over his shoulder as he swerved around a blockade of strollers, the desperation in his eyes so obvious that Matt instinctively looked back, too. No one was there. The man veered down a side path and was gone.</p><p>
  <em>Not my problem.</em>
</p><p>Matt still half-expected whoever he was running from to come through after him, but no one did.</p><p>As it happened, he needed to go down that same path anyway. It was totally part of the shortcut, he argued to himself.</p><p>As fast as he’d been moving, Gorgeous should’ve been well out of sight, but he’d stopped between two trees and was speaking, too low for Matt to hear, into some kind of handheld device. He looked up and their eyes met. Gorgeous shook his head, whether in warning or as a plea not to blab, Matt couldn’t have said.</p><p>Then reality folded in on itself and he vanished.</p><p>It happened too quickly for Matt’s eyes to follow, but he stood blinking dumbly at the space for several heartbeats, trying to rewind his mental images. He’d gotten a glimpse—not even a glimpse, more like a fleeting impression—of darkness, and a sense of motion, but that was all.</p><p>He was still standing there like an idiot when the pursuit finally showed up.</p><p>This guy could almost have passed for a suit out for a power walk. Except Matt knew the signs of someone carrying, and except for something else off in his manner, furtive and cocky at the same time. It screamed “bully trying to keep something quiet.”</p><p>He came up even with Matt and demanded, “Did anyone run through here?”</p><p>“Like a jogger,” Matt said in his driest deadpan, not even bothering to make it a question, moved by fuck knew what lack of self-preservation instinct. He <em>hated</em> bullies.</p><p>“Like anyone,” the suit said.</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“What are you doing standing here?”</p><p>“None of your business.”</p><p>Sure enough, the suit had a badge, and he pulled it out and flashed it for maybe half a second.</p><p>“Let me see that,” Matt said, “if you’re gonna detain me. Are you?”</p><p>The suit eyed Matt as if he might, but evidently decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. “Not this time,” he said. “But watch the attitude.” He power-walked away, and Matt only just managed to keep his shoulders from sagging with relief once he was out of sight.</p><p>“Are you still there?” he said softly, but there was no answer.</p><p>###</p><p>“A manhunt is underway in lower Manhattan for a brazen bank robber.” That wasn’t usually newsworthy, and Matt turned to look at the TV. He was just in time to see the bad police sketch that was still clearly Gorgeous.</p><p>Who sure as hell hadn’t acted like a thief trying to make his getaway. He’d acted like someone running for his life. Had he even been carrying anything? Matt turned back to the computer and started hunting down data.</p><p>On a whim, he did a reverse image search using the bad sketch, and got a hit in a database most people wouldn’t have been able to access. This had an actual picture, years old from the look of it, but there was no mistaking those eyes, a blue so electric that Matt strongly suspected contacts were involved. The feds had his name as Alexander Sirocco, which made Matt snort and mutter, “That is <em>not</em> your real name.”</p><p>Of course, it wasn’t like Matt was his.</p><p>Whatever his real name was, he had an impressive list of alleged crimes, with espionage at the top. Maybe that was where he got his tech, though Matt didn’t believe he was any more a spy than he was a bank robber.</p><p>A search for the alias turned up, predictably, a lot for each piece separately, but nothing for both, except one dubious hit, dated a couple of years ago. Matt had to jump through a surprising number of hoops to get to what turned out to be a message board where the people were either deeply committed to their role-playing or seriously unhinged by their conspiracy theories. It raised more questions than it answered. In the middle of what seemed to be a play-by-play of an outer space war, someone called Wolfmoon69 (Matt rolled his eyes at that) had written, “They won’t get overconfident, they all remember Kuredzh. Not even X. Sirocco, the vaunted Swordbright himself, walked away from that.”</p><p>Kuredzh? That got no hits outside the message board at all, and nothing any more useful than that one cryptic reference anyway. None of the other threads seemed related. Matt shrugged it off as nonsense and turned to a more practical solution: he hacked into the city surveillance system. Cameras had sprouted up damn near everywhere in the last few years. Part of what Matt did was help people get around them. The money was good.</p><p>He wasn’t trying to find out what happened because the guy looked like <em>that.</em> It was because he’d done the impossible right in front of Matt’s eyes. And something in that silent plea or warning...</p><p>OK, maybe it was a little because he looked like that.</p><p>He found footage of him going down the same path he’d disappeared on, and lots of it, but when he matched the times to the nearest camera farther along the path, nothing.</p><p>A hideout. But with absolutely convincing, absolutely impossible, camouflage. He either knew exactly where the cameras were, or he was damn lucky, because whatever he was hiding, it was smack in the middle of one of the few blind spots in the whole system. Someone that good had to know about the price on his head, right? Matt decided to go back out to look for him. Changed his mind. Changed his mind again.</p><p>Tomorrow—he’d look tomorrow.</p><p>###</p><p>The idea didn’t seem any more or less ridiculous the next day, which Matt took as a sign. He set out in the early afternoon, when respectable people were at work, stopping to glance in the mirror first.</p><p>He looked, as he always did to himself, somehow <em>off-model</em>, as if a careless animator had made his eyes the wrong color or gotten his scale wrong. As if there were some better Matt walking around somewhere who looked more like he fit in with other people. Hair that was an indecisive brown and wouldn’t lie flat, eyes of an indecisive hazel... he had a not-quite-<em>there-</em>ness that he was sure other people picked up on.</p><p>It didn’t matter what he looked like, he told himself, trying for a flippancy that backfired because hard on its heels came the realization that it really didn’t; no one was ever interested in him anyway.</p><p>He found the clearing again. It didn’t look any different, but he hadn’t really expected it to.</p><p>“I know you’re in there. I dunno <em>how</em> the hell you’re in there, but I know you are.” He was pretty sure he was in the right general area, but felt all the awkwardness of apparently talking to thin air.</p><p>“I won’t rat you out or anything. I mean, who am I gonna tell?” He held back a wince—that didn’t make him sound like a loser with no friends, or anything. “I’m just... How’d you <em>do</em> that?”</p><p>Nothing. Matt huffed and was about to admit defeat when he remembered the message board.</p><p>“Hey. What’s ‘Swordbright’?”</p><p>The secret password, apparently.</p><p>A mechanical <em>whoosh</em> came from behind Matt, and he turned in time to see reality do its folding-in-on-itself trick again. Gorgeous—no, Alexander—stood there looking murderous. Still beautiful, though, even with his eyes gone icy (probably not contacts, then) and his mouth hard. That just wasn’t fair.</p><p>“How do you know that name?”</p><p>So it <em>was</em> a name. “I saw it online. Don’t worry; it was hard to find.”</p><p>“<em>You</em> found it.”</p><p>“Yeah. But that’s what I do. It was on a site with an insane amount of security for just a message board. Where’d you come from just now?” Matt tipped his head, trying to see any cracks or distortions, but the camouflage held.</p><p>Alexander stared at him, possibly slightly less murderously.</p><p>“I also hide things. I can help hide you.”</p><p>“To what end?”</p><p>Matt nodded toward the thin air Alexander had appeared out of. “I <em>really</em> wanna know how you did that.”</p><p>“You were here yesterday.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“You did not report me to the authorities.”</p><p>“Of course not.”</p><p>Alexander seemed to be considering, not angry anymore, but that perfect face gave nothing away. “Why not?”</p><p>“Whatever side that asshole who was chasing you is on, I’m on the other one.”</p><p>After a moment, Alexander nodded. “Then I suppose I can satisfy your curiosity. What is your name?”</p><p>“Matt.”</p><p>“I’m Xan.”</p><p>That suited him better.</p><p>Matt watched closely as Xan took out the same device he’d used yesterday. It was smaller than a cell phone, sleek and seemingly featureless, but when Xan spoke, in a language Matt didn’t recognize, a thin wire rose from it.</p><p>A ramp folded down from nowhere, revealing a rectangle of darkness out of which clean, cool air wafted. Xan went up quickly, gesturing to Matt to follow.</p><p>The ramp led to a small room Matt quickly realized was an airlock, and he wasn’t all that surprised when Xan led him through to a cockpit of sorts.</p><p>Not <em>surprised</em>, no, but he was grinning like a loon. “This is a spaceship,” he said, and immediately blushed because it sounded dumber out loud than he’d expected.</p><p>“What gave it away?” Xan’s tone was deadpan, but Matt couldn’t tell if it was deadpan-because-amused or deadpan-because-disgusted-at-the-dork-stating-the-obvious.</p><p>“Dude, you don’t know me, so you don’t know. My first word was ‘moon.’”</p><p>Xan’s expression didn’t change, except for a flicker of a lift of one eyebrow.</p><p><em>So I’m a nerd</em>, Matt thought, liking him less. <em>Bite me. </em>“What is this, secret government tech or something?”</p><p>“No. I’m from another planet.”</p><p>“Oh, got it.”</p><p>Xan blinked, that cool poise cracking for the first time since yesterday. “I expected more of a reaction than that.”</p><p>“If it’s not ours, it has to be someone else’s.” Matt was trying hard to be casual without slipping over the line into <em>look, I’m trying to be casual. </em>“Besides: spaceship. You look human, though. What, d’you have two hearts?”</p><p>Matt was on a roll; Xan snorted at that. “I am not Gallifreyan.”</p><p>“That’s a shame.” Matt tried to keep a straight face. And totally failed. Maybe Xan was also a bit of a nerd, after all. “I should’ve known that. I mean, you’re definitely not driving a box.” It wasn’t bigger on the inside, but it also wasn’t cluttered with...well, anything. It looked more like Apple had gone into the spaceship-designing business, every surface smooth, shiny, and flat.</p><p>“I’d trade in a second if it meant I could go back in time.”</p><p>Matt took that as permission to get more serious. “So, what’s the deal?”</p><p>Xan went to the bridge window and looked out over the park. “Your planet is under attack.”</p><p>“Wi—” Matt cut himself off. <em>Without anyone knowing?</em> he’d been about to say, but something had occurred to him. “Do they look human, too?”</p><p>“Some of them do.”</p><p>“And your people are here to help?”</p><p>Xan didn’t turn around. “My people are the ones attacking.”</p><p>OK, that was unexpected. Matt stared.</p><p>“I am a rebel,” Xan said, finally looking back at him.</p><p>“You followed them?”</p><p>Xan rubbed at the back of his neck, actually looking sheepish. “Not precisely. It is... a long story.”</p><p>Matt gave raising an eyebrow in cool silence a try.</p><p>“I was stranded here before the invaders arrived.”</p><p>That still left a lot of questions unanswered, but Xan seemed to be doing his best to shut them down. Matt could wait—there were more important things to deal with first.</p><p>“I want to help.” He wouldn’t be much use in a brawl, he knew that, but give him an internet connection and he could do just about anything.</p><p>“It’s not your fight.”</p><p>“It’s my <em>planet</em>. I may not look tough, but I’m the best at what I do. Besides, it’s gonna be everyone’s fight sooner or later. Isn’t it?”</p><p>“It is,” Xan said, as if he wished he could lie, but wouldn’t.</p><p>Matt got up his nerve and went to stand beside him. Outside, the light was starting to go golden and slanted in that late-afternoon way Matt liked best. He saw parents pushing strollers, kids playing, a hot-dog vendor at his cart, a woman with oil paints in front of a tree. All of them in danger without even knowing it. “Then tell me what I can do.”</p><p>###</p><p>Xan had known many humans—had loved one, even, before the war took her from him—but Matt was different. Xan intended to find out how he had discovered so much so quickly, but Matt certainly hadn’t reacted the way most humans would have.</p><p>He was probably still young enough, for a human, to be reckless. Yet there was something less brash than refreshingly direct about him. His reaction to the ship had almost been enough to make Xan forget his anger at having been spied on.</p><p>And now he wanted to join the fight that never should have come to his planet. It was his right; Xan could not dispute that. And yet, as he gave Matt a thoughtful look, sizing him up in light of his willingness to fight in a war he couldn’t possibly yet understand, half of him wanted to tell him to forget everything he’d seen and heard and go have a normal life for as long as he could.</p><p>
  <em>How well did that plan work for you?</em>
</p><p>Still, if what Matt said about his abilities were true...</p><p>He was still at the viewport, not pushing Xan for an answer, just looking out at the park. The sun woke glints of blond and auburn in his hair, and Xan was struck again by how open and unaffected he seemed. He didn’t appear to be someone to whom lying came easily.</p><p>“First, we must discover the depth and breadth of their infiltration of Earth.”</p><p>Matt turned to face him and nodded, obviously pleased to be included in the <em>we</em>.</p><p>“They cannot conceal an army, and would not hesitate to wage a bloody war, but Savazo, their leader, is no fool.”</p><p>“So he’ll try to take over and make it a done deal before most people ever catch on.”</p><p>“That is exactly his plan. He cannot act alone. There will be humans cooperating with him.”</p><p>“Yeah. I wish that surprised me.”</p><p>Xan revised his initial impression of Matt as naive: that assessment was both correct and not blindly optimistic. “The one advantage we have is that they’re not yet ready to move openly. If they were, I wouldn’t be alive to be having this conversation.” He knew it sounded overdramatic, but it was true.</p><p>“Right—the price on your head. You knew about that, right? And it’s this guy’s doing?”</p><p>“Correct on both counts.”</p><p>“So, how come some people talk like you’re dead?”</p><p>Matt certainly had a knack for asking inconvenient questions. “Which people?”</p><p>“I’d better show you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As they walked back to his apartment, Matt desperately tried to remember if there was anything disgusting or embarrassing in plain view there. He thought not, but it wasn’t something he usually had to think about.</p><p>Xan started to make a turn, but Matt caught him by the sleeve. “Bowery’s totally covered. No blind spots at all.”</p><p>“That’s changed.”</p><p>“Yeah. Pretty recently, too.” Matt thought back. “How long have you been on Earth?”</p><p>Xan made his face blank. “Seven years.”</p><p>Matt did some mental arithmetic and didn’t much like the answer he got. “It’s only in the last couple of years that it’s really started to seem like you can’t go anywhere without being on camera. And only really recently that my neighborhood’s gotten covered.”</p><p>“That makes sense.” Xan’s voice was as flat as his expression.</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“That’s how long it would’ve taken Vaz—Savazo—to advance his current...” His mouth twisted. “Efforts.”</p><p>“Hm.” Matt indicated the next turn, wondering about Xan’s use of that nickname. “Almost there. It’ll be safer to talk inside.”</p><p>He couldn’t help but look at the people they passed and wonder if any of them were secretly alien invaders. It seemed completely ridiculous when he thought of it that way, even with everything he’d seen for himself since yesterday.</p><p>Matt lived in a loft that had been a squat a while ago. In its several incarnations since, it had been a dance club, an art studio, and failed condos. The current owners, whose actual existence Matt had never actually confirmed, didn’t ask questions and were fine with being paid in cash, which suited Matt perfectly. He’d had his occasional partner, Kwame, help him run a T1 to his floor back in the day, and he thought he probably still had a better connection than just about anyone in the city, including people who actually paid for theirs.</p><p>Despite being sure he was way too young for Xan to even think about being interested in him, Matt couldn’t keep from watching for a reaction when he let him in.</p><p>No one had ever moved the remodeling supplies off this floor, and Matt had used the shelves and ladders to make a barrier, like a castle’s curtain wall, he liked to think, and he’d appropriated the paint for his actual living area beyond it. Anyone who came up in the elevator and took a casual look around would think the loft was empty, but on the other side of the wall, a futon and a couple of shelves fenced in a small living area. These walls were shades of blue, starred with Christmas-light constellations. All of Matt’s computers were against the back wall, by the air vents, and several machines in various states of disassembly were scattered around there, too.</p><p>Xan took it all in and went to look at the bookshelves, which held a mix of programming reference books and science fiction. He touched the spine of one book (<em>Stranger in a Strange Land</em>, Matt saw), and there was a smile in his eyes when he turned back to look at Matt.</p><p>“C’mon,” Matt said, heading toward the computers and gesturing for Xan to follow.</p><p>He went back to the message board site, but the login from last time didn’t work now.</p><p>“They’ve changed all the passwords since yesterday.” Matt scowled, but kept working. “See what I mean about a ridiculous amount of security?”</p><p>“I do now.”</p><p>It took longer than it had the last time, but Matt got in. If the owners of the board suspected anything, they hadn’t been sure enough to wipe any content. Matt tracked down the post he’d first noticed and scooted his chair to the side so Xan could see it.</p><p>Xan read quickly, with no betraying changes of expression. Matt was pretty sure by now that he put the mask on deliberately. He was good at it, but not quite as good as he thought. It was pretty easy to see the cracks once you knew where to look.</p><p>When he got to the end of the post, he made a noise somewhere between scoffing and a laugh. “I supposed I should be flattered that they were still talking about me five years after I died.”</p><p>“You do sound pretty notorious, dude.” Matt shifted his chair back a little closer so he could see the screen too. “What did you <em>do</em>?”</p><p>“I tried to save Savazo from himself.”</p><p>“<em>That’s</em> vague.”</p><p>Was that a hint of amusement? If so, it was quickly gone. “Yes. I’m not used to talking about it. Once I realized he would not be turned from the path he had chosen, I gathered a group of those still loyal to homeworld to oppose him.” He sighed. “Many more were seduced by the idea of conquest, so long forbidden by our laws.”</p><p>“You called him something else before.”</p><p>“Vaz. It is a nickname, like Xan is for me. Names are quite long in our language.”</p><p>“You know him well enough to use a nickname?”</p><p>Xan nodded. “We were friends, once.” That was obviously one of the sore spots Matt had hoped to avoid, so he didn’t push his luck.</p><p>So Xan had led an army against his friend, and from the sound of it, he’d almost beaten him. He was obviously way more of a badass than Matt had guessed. “And after one of those battles, you ended up stuck here.”</p><p>“That is the abbreviated version, yes.”</p><p>“Also, don’t think I forgot the part where you’re dead.”</p><p>Xan rubbed at the back of his neck. “It seemed... prudent not to correct that mistake, but Savazo found out the truth. He is responsible for the story about the bank robbery.”</p><p>Using human law enforcement to do his dirty work; too bad the real-life evil warlord Matt ended up dealing with couldn’t be a stupid one.</p><p>“What else do I need to know about the war?”</p><p>“It should never have come to Earth. For what it is worth, I am sorry for it.”</p><p>“It can’t have been your fault.”</p><p>Xan didn’t answer.</p><p>It really couldn’t have been, could it? Matt felt his face start to heat up with the horribly familiar embarrassment of having blundered into saying exactly the wrong thing. Xan just kept frowning down at his hands.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>Xan seemed to shake himself, eyes refocusing as if he’d been very far away. “Savazo and I entered the military together, graduated from training together. When I was given my first command, he was not far behind.”</p><p><em>Your first command? I must </em>really<em> be too young, then.</em> And here he was fixating on that while Xan revisited painful memories—what a jerk he was.</p><p>“I knew him best. Or thought I did. I should have known that when he discovered it was impossible to take Earth by force, he would not have given up. I would not have, had I sought to rule this planet. But I—“</p><p>He broke off and looked down, trying to hide some sudden emotion he couldn’t conceal. When he looked up again, its traces were still readable: a pain deeper than just the loss of his friend.</p><p>“Xan? What is it?”</p><p>“Seven years ago, Savazo was poised to attack Earth. With all our remaining ships, we prevented it. But we took heavy losses, and I crashed here. I survived, obviously. But I was stranded on Earth; my ship was damaged. I hid myself among your people. I allowed myself to forget the war, because I could not bear the thought of it touching the life I was building. I was a fool.” The shadow of pain passed over his face again. “I fell in love with a human.”</p><p>Oh. Dismay curdled in Matt’s chest even as he tried to talk himself out of it. It wasn’t as if he’d thought Xan would ever <em>really</em> be interested in him. But it had been nice to pretend.</p><p>“As I am alone now, I am sure you can guess what happened to her.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Xan’s expression made Matt’s chest ache. “Does it help? To talk about her, I mean.”</p><p>Xan did seem less tense, as if telling this much had helped. “I do not know. I have never had the chance.”</p><p>“Shit, that’s— I’m sorry,” Matt said again, feeling thoroughly useless. It must have been terrible to grieve all alone, with no one to help and his family who knew how many light years away. “I—“ he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I know like it probably isn’t much help and it’s been a while and all, but. I’m here. For— for you. If you need me. Or someone.”</p><p>Xan gave a soft smile. “Thank you, Matt. It does help. Her name was Olivia. It’s been two years, and I still miss her often.”</p><p>Matt couldn’t even be mad. She must have been amazing for Xan to fall in love with her. Matt <em>could</em> guess what had happened to her: her death had to have been Savazo’s doing. That was another topic best avoided. “I don’t wanna <em>make</em> you talk about her.”</p><p>“Do not worry on that account. It is strange, but... simply knowing someone else knows about her helps.”</p><p>“How did the war start? That’s probably something I need to know, huh?”</p><p>“Yes; it will help you understand if I tell you about my people first. Our word for ourselves is <em>mellior</em>. It means ‘family,’ or, perhaps, ‘fellow-feeling.’ Not so different from the ‘human kindness’ your people speak of. I’m not sure anyone else can really understand how terrible a betrayal of that idea is.”</p><p>“I think I get it. One of you turning against your own people isn’t just a fight, is it? It goes against everything you are.”</p><p>“Yes, precisely. Our civilization is many hundreds of thousands of years old, and more advanced than any we have yet encountered. That’s why we have such strict laws about harming or interfering with other races.”</p><p>“The Prime Directive,” Matt said, and Xan surprised him by chuckling.</p><p>“Very like that. It’s necessary. To go against those laws is treason. The other side, of course, feel that we are the traitors... that our laws held our people back, and that our rulers had failed to change with the times. In some ways, they were not wrong, but the path they choose was extreme. They call themselves <em>evahn</em>, ‘the new,’ but we call them <em>drazh</em>. It means...” He thought for a moment. “Those who are outcast by choice, but the connotation is one of dishonor.” He stopped and considered again. “More than dishonor. It also carries a sense of having deserted one’s obligations.” He looked over at Matt and gave a huff that was probably meant to be a laugh. “There are too many layers to this for me to unwrap it neatly for you, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I think I’ve got the basics.” The <em>mellior</em> sounded a little uptight, but that wasn’t the sort of thing you could say to someone who might be sensitive about it.</p><p>“Savazo wanted to expand our people’s reach. He struck out with a small force of followers and began to try to colonize other planets by force. This was forbidden, naturally. I was one of those sent to stop him.</p><p>“We placed him under formal arrest, and he promised to leave homeworld peacefully, taking only those loyal to him.” Xan’s voice was noticeably flatter. “The compromise was that they would be allowed to settle on a suitable planet where life had not yet developed.” He sighed. “That was not enough for them. They attacked homeworld itself, and all but destroyed our capital city. That is why the word for the war is <em>cazonskahl</em>: heart-wound.”</p><p>“That’s terrible. I mean, it’s worse than terrible, but.” Words were inadequate, and Matt decided he trusted himself not to have ulterior motives in comforting Xan, so he reached over and squeezed his shoulder. Xan covered his hand with his own and seemed more composed after a moment, so Matt let go. <em>I’m not good at </em>people, he wanted to say. <em>Even non-human people.</em> “How many of the bad guys are here?”</p><p>“I cannot say for sure. The battle at Kuredzh cost their side dearly, too. I have been able to react only. I discover what they mean to do, and I try to stop them.”</p><p>That name... “The people on that message board are for real.”</p><p>Xan nodded.</p><p>“Okay, we need intel. I can start there, with IP addresses. How are you getting your information?”</p><p>Xan hesitated. Matt wouldn’t have thought embarrassment was a good look on anybody, but Xan managed somehow; the pink flush just accentuated his cheekbones. “By rather lower-tech means.”</p><p>“Pounding the pavement? Really?”</p><p>“More or less.”</p><p>“You’re not exactly inconspicuous,” Matt blurted, and immediately wished he could take back.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Matt could only stare for a moment while he tried to get his mouth to say something non-stupid. “You know you’re gorgeous, right?”</p><p>Holy crap, he’d made Xan speechless.</p><p>“Wow, you don’t. Okay.” Matt’s awkwardness and disbelief collided and broke into a snort of laughter.</p><p>After a moment, Xan laughed, too, seemingly just as helplessly. “Thank you, I suppose, for approving of something I have only minimal control over.”</p><p>“You’re not talking about the usual ways people—I mean, humans—change the way they look, are you?”</p><p>“No. What you see is a projection into the dimensions you can perceive.”</p><p>It was only with effort that Matt kept his mouth from falling open. “That is <em>so cool</em>. So you have to do it consciously? Wait, how many dimensions can <em>you</em> see? Can you see them right now? Are you—“ Matt cut himself off. “Heh, sorry.”</p><p>Xan still looked amused. “It’s more conscious than breathing, but less than speaking. I can change superficial qualities for a short time, but this is the appearance that is most natural to me.”</p><p>“All right, what about on your home planet?”</p><p>“I look... somewhat different.” He pulled a face. “The space my people naturally inhabit would be five-dimensional to you, but on Earth, I am just as limited to the normal three as you. Usually.”</p><p>“Oh, now you’re just gloating.”</p><p>Xan made a not-very-convincing attempt at looking virtuous. “Using more takes an enormous amount of energy and is not worth it most of the time.” He glanced at Matt, who wasn’t even pretending to believe this. “Fine; my fighter has the technology, but only for one use. Two, at the most.”</p><p>“One more question: What’s the deal with ‘Swordbright’?”</p><p>“I had hoped you’d forgotten about that.”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t.” Matt bumped Xan’s shoulder with his own. “So fess up.”</p><p>Xan nudged him back. “I suppose you’ll never let it go if I don’t.”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“It is a battle-name. They’re given in recognition of... notable deeds.” The way he muttered that last part made Matt pretty sure it was an understatement.</p><p>“So, you’re a big deal.”</p><p>Xan shook his head. “I was only a soldier, and I’m not even that anymore.”</p>
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